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Emotion

I'm an extremely emotional person--the stereotypical woman, I suppose. I cry if I see an injured animal, if I watch a sad movie, or if someone yells at me. Other times I cry for no reason that I can discern. There are a lot of things, whether justified or random, that can upset me. (I partly blame my birth control for this). Albeit me being overly emotional, I still try to hide my distress. No one likes a sad girl, at least that's what I thought. I would simply become an inconvenience--someone who would have to be consoled or even worse, walked on egg shells around. So, I've always just hidden my emotions as best I could. I'd wipe my tears quickly and put on a happy face. That is, until I entered into D/s dynamics. I found that around my Dominant, I couldn't hide my emotions quite as well. I believe it's because he's someone who I've wholly submitted to-- every part of me, happy and sad. I like the freedom of being able to express myself more openly. It's comforting to know that he accepts every part of me. Still, there are times when I fear some things are not worth sharing. Sometimes I feel silly for being upset and am embarrassed. Other times, he simply has a lot on his plate and I don't want to be an extra stressor. What I've learned though, and am still trying to fully comprehend as I've had this mindset for so long, is that even if he's stressed or I think it's something irrelevant, it's still better to tell him. He can see when something is bothering me, even if no one else can. Plus my guard is down around him, so emotions convey themselves more clearly in his presence. He likes to know when I'm upset, so he can plan accordingly. That could mean anything from cheering me up to knowing what he can and can't ask of me in that moment. And when he says that to me, it makes sense and I understand that my emotions are okay.

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