Just in case you’ve never used a phone in the past 10 years. KIK is a messaging app on your phone that is similar to the AOL & yahoo chats of old. It’s pretty great for finding a new partner in your area or an internet ho to share some pictures with. Or maybe you are into getting scammed out of some money by a guy from India posing as that hot girl next door type.. As the ubiquitous fuck boii says.. “What are you looking for?”
Any idiot can start a KIK group and start dispensing their version of BDSM to the people that happen upon their group. KIK is fantastic if you are the type of person who likes to gather together people who only agree with you, shower you with compliments, and love to rid your life of anyone who annoys you or upsets your fragile sensibilities with a few taps on the screen.
When you join a BDSM group on Kik, expect to be tested and judged. If you are a female, you’ll be able to get away with murder. If you are a dude, you’re basically fucked and have to jump through the hoops. Your mileage may vary, but most SERIOUS kik groups go to an extreme CIA level vetting process just to hang out with them and chat about BDSM. First they will want to determine whether or not you are a real person. On Kik, scam bots abound. A verification video with you saying the current date would be fine, but instead this is an opportunity for an admin to make you do or say something stupid, and sometimes degrading, to join their group. It’s typical playground style hazing. Assuming you’ve passed the robot test, now you have a plethora of questions to answer. How long have you been in the lifestyle? What are your kinks? What are your limits? Make up a punishment you might give for a hypothetical person in a hypothetical situation? And then the biggest hot button subjective question: Who holds the power in a D/s dynamic? Don’t worry, you're going to get judged by your answers. Don’t fret if you phase something wrong or say something with suspicious context, the group will speak to you like you are a 5 year old rapist murder predator that is everything wrong with BDSM before giving you the boot.
You’ll also need to be tested on their group rules and made to say something silly to acknowledge that you’ve read them. Group rules will vary. But generally they will have you state your ASLR (That’s R for role, not race, you idiot). Don’t pm anyone without permission (Even though KIK provides a feature to turn off Direct Messaging for each group respectively). Don’t Share people’s photos. This isn’t a hook up group(lol. Women always say this. It only applies to people they are not attracted to).. And so on. Look basically what you need to understand is that KIK people generally believe that the sky is constantly falling, a revenge porn child predatory rapist is around every corner, and their group is a safe space where feelings cannot be hurt, genitalia are scary, and you need to go along to get along. Again, if you have a vagina, none of this really applies to you. If you possess a dick, go back and read again.
Let's talk about cards. Cards are all about introducing yourself to the new person by generally summarizing with pictures and text the stuff you are into. Remember how you used to just talk to people and get to know them? Yea, this is the fast forward button. Remember how this isn’t a hook up group? Yea. You’ll know who’s single by their cards. Just don’t seem too interested.
Assuming you’ve made it passed the verification, the rules, the cards, and Jesus fucking Christ whatever…. Now you can sit back and watch the narcissism. Welcome back to High School.
You’ve got the popular kids. Most of them look up to the admins. Nobody is an outlier because you have to go along to get along. Watch what you say. The fashionably offended will make anything you say immediately about them. If they are more popular than you, or possess a vagina, expect to see some great Captain Save-A-Ho action. Why? Because you have to score points with girls on Kik to maintain any potential that she might send you nudes in PM. Agree or disagree, this is simply the rules of the kik world.
Discussion Groups. These are BDSM knitting circles. Do you like to talk endlessly and debate the finest minutiae of what it feels like to be a submissive? Or wax for hours on who holds the power in D/s dynamics? Do you like to soapbox with a holier than thou my-brand-of-BDSM-is-the-best-BDSM tone? These are the groups for you. Also, if you enjoy making everything about yourself. This is you.
Let's talk about narcissism and attention seeking behavior. A prime example is the PM scheme. You should be aware that KIK provides a feature that allows you to turn OFF Direct messaging from groups individually. Women won’t use this feature. But they will ABSOLUTELY LOVE to get your attention then talk about it in group with a How-dare-you-speak-to-me tone. If you hang out in groups long enough, you will notice the women who only speak up when someone sends them a private message just to out Men. It’s like the girl who goes out bra-less in January then gets upset that every dude in the room is having a look at her…. But is she upset? Is she really? Or is it just that silly popularity game girls play… Of course, none of this applies when you are the dude who she secretly wanted to PM.
BDSM gets distorted. Kik groups work off mob mentality. “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it” - Agent K… On KIK you are dealing with people who need attention and validation of their thing. Then specifically for Admins, this little group on their phone is the only control they have in their life. So they are going to make up some weird BDSM views that are more how the world should be rather than how the world is… For an example - submissives can do no wrong. submissives are always the victim. submissives need protecting. Dominants are trained psychotherapists and social workers. A role is something you play and a lifestyle is something you live, but that doesn’t really matter because everything said in a kik group is the firm unimpeachable gospel according to… them.
The vast majority of BDSM KIKsters are simply living a life vicariously through other people and make-believe what-I-would-do’s. Most of them aren’t doing anything hands on or outside of their own homes.
We spoke to a random girl from Jersey who had this to say about KIK: “Kik groups are stupid. It’s only good for exhibitionists”
Would you like to join our kik group? MSG BellamysClutch on KIK and we will invite you into our group of adults who barely have any personality disorders at all.